I’ve Been a Little Quiet

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been a little quiet for a couple of weeks. Truthfully, a couple of things happened that have kept me quiet. Let me do some explaining.

Most of you know that I am 1 year and a month post operative of my colostomy reversal. My body is 100 times better than it was this time last year, but it is still far from being healed. (Not because I’m not pleading with the Lord to heal it mind you.)

Over the last couple of weeks I had a 4 day streak of not being able to leave my house I was so sick. Two of the days I was only able to lay on the couch and just exist in between running to the restroom. I finally called my oncologist, and she was able to prescribe me some stronger medicine to help quiet my stomach down. Thank goodness it worked fabulously! But don’t get too excited–it’s not a long term solution because these meds are in the opioid family. In fact, I was reading that if you take these meds for 40 consecutive days you would have withdrawal symptoms if you stopped taking them. So these meds are tucked safely away in the medicine cabinet to be used only for extreme measures.

Another reason I have been a little bit quiet is because I took some time to do something for me. I went to see a counselor. Yes, I did. I can’t wait to process all of the changes, emotions, feelings, issues, that life has thrown at my family and I over the last 2 years. I realized that I’m not even sure that I have mourned the loss of our life in Honduras, the changes that we have experienced from the cancer, surgeries, and colostomy, or the feelings that I am experiencing from being at home for this extended time. On top of these things add all of the stress from the last few months of our girls situations and I decided it was time to let someone else help me deal with all of this mess.

Can I tell you that I felt so much better after just one session. You want to know why? I spoke it out loud! I got to discuss all of these things on a high level. I think I made a healthy choice for me, because I want to be a better person and sometimes it’s necessary to let someone else help you work though the details.

So here’s my thoughts for today. Sometimes life is just blah! You get sick, you lose a job, you are having relationship issues with your spouse, your kids, your parents, etc., your car breaks down, or you can’t seem to figure out your relationship to God.

Any–some–a few–or none of these things may be going on in your life. We have choices! We can just get by and refuse to deal with the issues or we can face the issues straight up. I am choosing the last option.

I don’t want to waste whatever time God gives me not dealing with my “stuff”. Especially because how we deal with our stuff affects those around us. If I’m walking around irritated, aggravated, or upset about my circumstances, then I’m not able to be the wife, the mom, the sister, the daughter, or friend like I am supposed to be.

Now let me throw this out there too! I’m not doing this without God, I’m walking with God through these circumstances. I’ve been in his word, spending time in prayer, and meditating on what I’m learning. But sometimes life kind of catches you in this whirlwind that you didn’t even choose and before you know it you are a little lost at how to deal with everything.

You know what? It’s ok. We are where we are. But–and here’s the kicker–you can’t stay where you are and get better. You are going to have to figure out what you need to do to improve your state of mind. Begin by asking yourself these questions: Where do I want to be in 6 months, a year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years? What do I need to do now to get to where I want to be? What changes do I need to make in my life? Do I need to seek the help of a neutral, non-involved counselor? Will I listen to their advice? Am I willing to do the hard work now to gain the life I want later?

I could keep asking questions, but I think you get the idea.

I’m being very open with my journey so that you can find the freedom to seek help, if necessary, for your own journey. And yes, I’m going back for another session because we haven’t even touched all the crazy events in our lives over the past couple of years. Who knows–it may take a little while, or maybe just a few more visits. I’m hoping I can start to process these emotions and move on to the next thing God gives us to do.

P.S. Nope–I did not lay on a couch. Just thought I would clear that up for inquiring minds. Ha!

Also, this information comes from me learning as I go–I am not telling you that you need to go see a counselor! I am not in the medical field, nor am I a psychologist, or counselor. I also do not play any of these roles on a tv show. LOL! Have a great day!