Joshua 1:9 has been one of my favorite verses for years. There is a little song I learned while teaching at a private school that helped me memorize the verse. Over the years I sang this song with my kids and even by myself when I needed to be reminded of the power in these words “be strong and courageous”. These words were spoken by the LORD to Joshua after Moses died and he was getting ready to go into the promised land with the Israelites. In the LORD’s instructions to Joshua he repeats this phrase “be strong and courageous” three times. In the Hebrew language the number 3 represented divine wholeness, completeness, and perfection. So when the LORD told Joshua three times in His instructions to “be strong and courageous” you can be guaranteed Joshua did not miss the importance of the triple repetition. He knew the LORD was emphasizing the importance of “being strong and courageous” before going into battle.
Today we too can take these words to heart when we are going into our own personal battles. My nephew, Josh, explains how God has been using these words to help him to work through a struggle in his life.
Read his words . . .
Ever since I was a little kid, I knew who Jesus was. I loved him and I prayed little innocent prayers to him. I believed and trusted in Jesus with a child-like faith when I was 6 years old. From then life was pretty great and I had no worries or real responsibilities. As I started to grow into my teenage years, an unknown temptation started to show up. I didn’t know where it came from, but it’s like it would just show up and make an appearance whenever it felt the need to. I knew this temptation could lead to sinful acts so I would immediately shut it out. As I got into my late teenage years, this temptation started to show up more often than I was comfortable with. Shutting it out just wasn’t working anymore and I began to hate myself. Because of this temptation, I convinced myself I was worthless and not worthy of being loved by anyone, not even Jesus. Nobody was aware I was fighting this battle because I constantly forced a smile on my face and tried making others smile and laugh, because it was the only sliver of joy I could find.
The joy I seemed to find from making others laugh fueled me for a little while but suddenly didn’t seem to keep me going anymore. I was so broken I convinced myself I had no purpose in life anymore, and I was a trigger pull from taking this temptation I constantly battled with and burying it for good. Thankfully, Jesus spared my life that day.
Things seemed to get better as I prayed repeatedly for Jesus to take this temptation away. My head was out of the water for a few months until I got dragged back under again. I knew how this would end, so I began to pray that Jesus would send someone, anyone, into my life that I could talk to and tell them what I was deeply struggling with. I was terrified I was going to take my own life if I didn’t get this temptation I was harboring inside off my chest; and he did just that.
September of 2019, I told one of my dearest cousins about my secret struggle. I wanted her to scream at me and tell me how wrong it was, but she did not. She comforted me and told me how much I was loved by her and Jesus. Although there were hours worth of tears and conversations that took place that night, I am simply going to tell you that her sitting with me in my car that night, listening to my cry for help, gave me a sense of hope. I felt like there was a huge weight lifted off my chest and that I could finally breath again.
Ever since that night, I have kept the verse Joshua 1:9 so close to my heart. It reminds me to never be afraid or discouraged because my savior Jesus is always with me every step I take.
With time, a lot of prayer, and reading Joshua 1:9 multiple times a day, I confessed my problems to my family. I will say, I was completely terrified, but I kept repeating this verse in my head, making sure I knew that Jesus would be standing right beside me. Although I have been blessed with a very loving family, I thought I would be judged and rejected, kicked out and unloved by the very people who brought me into this world.
January 5, 2020 was the night I told my family. I had other living arrangements made and I was expecting to pack up my whole life into a bag and say my goodbyes. However, my parents responded in a way I couldn’t even imagine. They listened to me try and explain my heart. I told them I didn’t understand what God had planned for someone who was as broken as me. Instead of judging, they chose to listen and love.
Yes, I still struggle with who I am and what God has planned for me every single day. I question God continuously, but I am being strong and courageous as I battle my issues just like Joshua in the Bible. Through all of this, I have to remind myself of Joshua 1:9 and repeat to myself that I need to continue “to be strong and courageous”, that I don’t need to be “afraid or discouraged, for the Lord my God is with me wherever I go.”
I am not perfect and I fail every day, but I do ask that you will try to have an open heart and be there for others in times of struggle and hopelessness; I pray that we as Christians choose to listen and love.
I also pray that you too will use these words to help fight your own personal battles.
Josh Emig
P.S. I ask that you will keep me in your prayers. I also just wanted to say that if you are reading this and need someone to talk to, I will gladly listen no matter what you are going through. And don’t forget, Jesus loves you no matter what.
Thanks for sharing. I’ve had the same feeling of shame and hopelessness. Everyday I thought of suicide. But God….
Josh thank you so much for your transparency and Sharing from your heart. God will use you mightily as all of us struggle with something and all of us need someone to listen and encourage us to be strong and courageous. Praying for you as you continue this journey.
Josh, I am so glad you were willing to talk to your cousin and then your parents. That is a huge step towards overcoming temptations. You are so blessed to have loving, caring, praying parents who deeply love you and always have. They will help you and guide you. It is a blessing that your Aunt Julie asked you to share your story. She is a blessing to so many. You have a wonderful life of service to our LORD ahead of you and please know that I am praying for you. We all have had issues in our lives that only the LORD can help us with. I am so happy that you know the LORD and have the Holy Spirit by your side and in your heart as your helper where ever you are, regardless of the circumstances. Thanks for sharing your heart, I love you. Grandma
What a powerful testimony, Josh!! Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I think God has great plans for you and is already using you to touch the lives of others. May God bless you, Josh!