Three weeks ago I began another journey of restoration. There is an issue that I am dealing with that came to me.
It was dumped in my lap—I did not ask for it.
Yet there it sits waiting for me to figure out what to do with it.
In the beginning, I’ll admit I was in a state of disbelief. Then came the denial–where I ignored it and pretended it didn’t exist. You know—maybe if I don’t acknowledge it, it will go away. Next came the anger, where I wanted to lash out and cause hurt myself. Finally, after praying over the situation, I ended up realizing I needed to get some outside help.
Guess what the Lord sent to me in an email wrapped in disguise as a Proverbs 31 “freebie”?
An email from Lisa Terkeurst announcing a free Bible study beginning in a couple of weeks. I bet you’ll never guess the name of the study.
Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. That’s right. Exactly some help to figure out how to work through this issue.
I had heard of this study a while ago but didn’t look at it seriously. On this day it was like a scene from the Jim Carrey movie, Bruce Almighty when he asked for a sign from God and literal signs appeared everywhere in from of him, and he missed or ignored every-single-one! The difference is . . . I saw it for what it was . . . an opportunity to work through this junk!
So now you are caught up to where I am. I am in the process of dealing with something I didn’t ask for and not able to discuss it publicly. Anyone else? Ever been there?
This saying came across my Facebook page last week also. It caught my eye. It said . . .
I pray my friends get through the battles they don’t talk about.
There are times when you really can’t share exactly what’s going on because you are protecting the person who caused the harm. You love them fiercely and you would never want to hurt them just so you could have the freedom to shout out your feelings.
Maybe that day will come, but for now, it’s yours to hold.
The truth is this—I forgave this person when they shared their heart with me. But now I need to figure out how to handle the hurt, the fallout, and the breach of trust. I want to. It’s important to me.
This morning I was doing my short little devotional from the You Version App. The verse was from Psalm 130:5 (AMP) it reads . . .
I wait [patiently] for the Lord, my soul [expectantly] waits, And in His word do I hope.
And then I opened the devotional, Seeing Beautiful Again, that accompanies the study I’m beginning next week. Here are the words of the verse from Day 1 . . .
I waited patiently for the Lord: he inclined to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1 (ESV)
The Lord KNEW I would need a double emphasis on this word combination of waiting patiently. Just a side note for you—the number of times the author writes a word or phrase repeatedly indicates the importance of its message for you. In this case, the Holy Spirit put both of these verses in my path so I could see the importance of waiting patiently.
I’m pretty sure He knows this girl and He was letting me know, “Sister you need to do this—wait patiently.” He also knows my inner thoughts and He knew I was secretly struggling with this question . . . “wonder if I don’t have enough time to be patient?” Instead of getting upset with my crazy thought process, I was reminded that He alone knows how much time I have left on this earth. This cancer is not the time giver—my God is the time giver. I too must trust in Him no matter what life brings.
He confirmed that very thought with this verse found in Job 14:5 (ESV) . . .
Since his days are determined, and the number of his months is with you, and you have appointed his limits that he cannot pass.
Don’t you find it humorous that I have written a book that discusses the topic of Trusting God, and still He has to remind me to trust Him? This totally brings a little smile to my face. I’m still learning and growing and living.
Trust is still a daily choice–somewhat recently it’s been like moment by moment.
But in the end, it is our only hope we have of forgiving, of healing, of moving onward to a better, healthier relationship.
I want you to hear my takeaway from the two verses about waiting patiently.
First of all, I am past the initial emotions and questions, and I have moved on to the acceptance stage, but we still haven’t dealt with all of the fallout. We are entering the “middle” stage of any problem and that is usually where all of the hard work takes place. It requires understanding, mindfulness, and a desire to truthfully work through the details.
Secondly, in the middle is where Satan attacks because He is trying to stop the reconciliation. He has no desire for us to work this out and heal.
In both of these Psalms, the author, King David, is pleading to be lifted out of a sinful mess that he has fallen into. He’s asking God to restore him and bring about a change in his circumstances. He shows that he has faith and trust in God’s ability to work in these situations on his behalf.
We too have to be willing to enter into the “waiting” while God is working out things in the silence. We have to know the character of God to trust in His goodness and His will.
Today I’m pondering the amazing grace and mercy that the Lord wants us all to have. I know that I am not an easy person to live with sometimes, and I’m glad that the Lord forgives me for my sins also!
If you find yourself in a “waiting” period, join me in meditating on His word and rejoicing in the healing and renewal that is on the other side of the “middle”.
I’m going to end today with a couple of promises found in Psalms 40 and 130.
Blessed [fortunate, prosperous, and favored by God] is the man who makes the Lord his trust,
And does not regard the proud nor those who lapse into lies. Psalm 40:4 (AMP)
O Israel, hope in the Lord; for with the Lord there is lovingkindness, and with Him is abundant redemption. And He will redeem Israel from all his sins. Psalm 130:7-8 (AMP)
You can replace your name with Israel and know that He will shower your life with redemption also. Try it . . .
O _________________, (put your name there) hope in the Lord; for with the Lord there is lovingkindness, and with Him is abundant redemption. And He will redeem you from all your sins.
Oh what beautiful love to meditate on for the day.
