Forever Family Psalm 68:5-6

I sure hope this months emphasis on Fostering/Adopting is giving your heart a pause. I hope you take time out of your busy, hectic, stressful holiday season and stop. Take a rest and think about the social orphans and widows who are lonely and wishing they had “family” to love on them in this season. I know that our family is doing just that. We are looking to see who God puts into our life to help. (That’s not easy to do–I have to really work at stopping and waiting on God to show me HIS things. Anyone else?)

This weeks guest bloggers are sweet friends who we consider part of our family. They have the sweetest hearts and keep their eyes open for joining God in all kinds of tasks. They have helped our family in so many ways—I’m pretty sure they would kill me for listing those ways on here so I won’t, but let me just say that they have gone above and beyond for us over the life of our friendship.

Their story is not pain-free, but it is a story of allowing God to make something beautiful, something redemptive, something forever—a family.

Here it is . . .

While many stories begin with some momentous event, this one culminates in the event. My wife and I have been married since 1988. Even though we have a heart for children, we were not blessed with children of our own, even after some shallow investigations into the cause of the problem. I guess we both eventually resigned to the fact that it was not meant to happen.

I joined the U.S Navy in 1988. My stint was rather arduous as I was in the Nuclear Power Program. It culminated in our being stationed at Kings Bay Naval Submarine Base in St. Marys, Georgia. While I was at sea, Kim visited a church that someone had recommended. She ran into one of the ladies she met at church while working a temporary job at Gilman Paper Company. She is one of the sweetest ladies we have ever known, Tiny Shaw. Upon my return, I was introduced to Tiny’s family and was taken in as one of their own!  We were on a new path in life. I was not brought up in the church and found this to be very enlightening. We met and became friends with many families at our church home thru the years including the Agee family.

In 2010, Julie Agee set up an event called Orphan Sunday at our church. Upon arrival, you would be given the name of an orphan. You would then proceed through a day in the life of that person. Different areas of the church were set up to let you experience where they slept, what they would eat, and so on. At the end, you would find that person’s name on the wall of the sanctuary and it would tell what happened to that individual in real life. In many cases, the person died at a very young age. Although there were some who, with the help of some caring person or persons, went on to live a productive life.  We were then asked to do our part to help in the crisis with many avenues presented. Fostering children locally was one option and that was what Kim and I chose to do.

After a rather intensive process, we became approved foster parents in 2011. Since we had never parented before, we didn’t know what to expect. Our first placement was 3 African American children aged 1, 3 and 7! I mention race only because there were many things we didn’t understand about caring for black children, primarily skin and hair. The first time we completed washing the little girl’s hair, she looked like Buckwheat from the little rascals! We didn’t know what to do with it next. Fortunately, we had a wonderful daycare worker that would alleviate us from this problem in the future. I also remember a conversation I had with the 7 year old while encouraging him to apply lotion on his skin one evening. He said, “Mr. Randy, why don’t you put lotion on your skin?” I tried to explain that we were made differently and that I would turn into a grease spot if I applied lotion. He just didn’t quite understand.

Being a foster parent is a demanding, trying, tough experience that later turns out to be very rewarding. You make a difference in someone’s life just by caring for and loving that person. I have many entertaining stories about life as a foster parent. The plan in all foster care placements is to reunite them with their families. Some are able to do that, some aren’t. It normally hinges on the actions or inactions of the parents. There have been many that we would have loved to keep, but that was not part of God’s plan for us.

 After caring for about 15 children over 6 years, we had a 4-month-old baby boy placed in our home. He became available for adoption about a year and a half later and is now our son! Ryan is the light of our lives. He is 3 and a half going on 10! He is smart (too smart for his own good!), healthy and thriving. As with most kids, there are those challenging times.

 James 1:27 says “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world”. We are all in this thing called “life” together and we all need to do our part. I am very thankful for the path we chose and wouldn’t change it for the world. We should all strive to do better tomorrow than we did today. 

Who knows?  God may open your eyes to the needs of foster children, foster families, or the social workers who handle their cases.  Be on the lookout to see how you can be a part of the solution!

Randy and Kim

Bonus Material . . .

Our family celebrated our 3 girls “Gotcha Day” last night! Leighanne 18 years and Hannah and Sara 9 years! Oh how we have all grown! The Lord has certainly blessed our family through this beautiful, messy, difficult, journey to become family—I am thankful we listened to the Lord and did the necessary work to bring home these girls!