Our guest bloggers are family–kind of. Not the blood type, but the kind that you do life with—from celebrations to painful circumstances. We laugh together, cry together, and pray together. I’ve talked about my friend, Sam, in the past. We met in college and have been friends ever since. We were pregnant with babies a couple of times together. Her daughter and son-in-law, Sarah and Derick, are telling their fostering/adoption story today. Let’s celebrate with them and mourn for their pain and loss. That’s what real friends and family do for each other. I know they would be blessed if you would join us in prayer for their upcoming adoptions!
Here is their story . . .
We admit, we are biased when it comes to the topic of adoption.
With no biological children, we opened our home ready and willing to take as many as six children (my husband may say otherwise).
In two years, we’ve had the privilege of loving an eight year old, a two year old, a one year old and a newborn. In just a few months, two of our children will be adopted, Lord willing. We can not overstate the joy they have brought us. From birthdays to holidays and all the fun moments that children bring in between, we have been blessed!
But we wouldn’t be telling the truth if we didn’t share the heartbreak that has come with that joy. In October, we said goodbye unexpectedly to our son of nineteen months and his new baby brother. Learning to parent kids that have been through chaos, instability, homelessness or abuse is a challenge that we are trying to navigate on a daily basis. The revolving door coming in and out of your homes can be gut-wrenching. There are so many times we have felt exhausted and defeated.
Gospel work is not and should not be easy. However, it is worth it.
One verse we have clung to during this journey is Ephesians 1:5 (ESV) “In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.”
Ephesians 1:5 is foundational to the Christian faith. It gives us the security of our salvation. All too often the word “adoption” can be overlooked. See adoption in the Roman times was a bit different than it is today. In Ancient Rome, parents had the option of disowning their own children after the birth for a variety of reasons. However, according to Roman Law if you chose to adopt a child that child would be a part of your family forever and could not be disowned. So when Paul uses the word Adoption here it isn’t used lightly. It means forever!
We MUST be actively involved in taking care of orphans. The bible commands us to (Isaiah 1:17). If you are thinking about fostering and adopting, we encourage you to reach out to someone who has been through that journey. At the same time, we understand that every family is not called to say yes to fostering. But, as Christians, we are called to be actively praying and helping by using our time, money and resources to help those who have said “yes”!
Our system is broken—it feels that we are fighting a losing battle and we are heavily outmatched. If we had one piece of advice to someone or a family that is considering fostering or adopting it would be to find a local church that treasures the Gospel above all.
It is almost silly how blessed we have been to have the church community we have with Ashland Church. Within 24 hours of each placement whatever we need toys, diapers, baby essentials, food, prayer, etc. is not only taken care of, but brought to our front door. Our church family has endured so many emotions with us. They check on us, encourage us, pray for us, and sometimes just listen when we need to vent. We would not be able to walk this journey if it weren’t for the support from our church family.
We have been adopted by Christ and we will continue to say “yes” to fostering and adoption. We believe one of the best ways to show a lost and dying world the gospel is through adoption.
What is God calling you to do for the social orphans in your community? Your state? The World?
Derick and Sarah Durham
My husband and I had custody of a girl whose mother was in prison. She was 13 when she came into our home. As she turned 16, her mother was set free and wanted her to come live with her. I met someone at a conference that had fostered or adopted dozens of children. My question to her after hearing her speak was, “I understand how to take a child in, but how do I let her go?” She said, ” I trust God to use the time we have together for eternal impact.” It hurt when she left but I trust God that the time we had with her mattered.