Update on Mom and Dad

Over the last few months, I’ve spoken the words, “I can’t believe . . . ” in reference to all of the decisions, Dr. visits, and life changes we have been through with mom and dad. For instance, “I can’t believe Mom has another doctor visit or I can’t believe we are putting their house on the market.” I never dreamed or realized all of the life changes that would take place over the last 70 days.

For those of you who have walked in my shoes—you get it, you understand all of the emotions, feelings, and questions that plague your mind while you wade through a mountain of decisions that have to be made.

If your parents are still able to enjoy life in their own home, then just realize that day looms somewhere in the future. Celebrate the “normal” with them now–don’t waste opportunities to spend an afternoon just enjoying a bowl of ice cream or an almond cookie while watching a Hallmark movie in their sunroom. You never know when that last time will be “THE” last time you get to experience this simple joy.

Since I last wrote about us having to temporarily move my mom and dad into their suite at my sister’s house, I feel like we have lived a lifetime. Mom has had several tests including an MRI, vestibular tests, and blood work. We are so grateful that her neurologist had a cancelation in early June. We were able to begin the process of getting to the bottom of what is causing her to have dizziness and tremors instead of having to wait until August.

After the initial test results were reviewed, Mom’s primary care doctor recommended mom and dad make their temporary move a permanent one. We are waiting for the final diagnosis from the neurologist, but we do know the audiologist says she has BPPV which is Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo and means the crystals in her inner ear are out of place. Thankfully, this explains some of her dizziness.

In between appointments and tests, we began the process to get their house on the market, and this is where the story gets a little bit crazy. The realtors did a walkthrough on a Thursday. By Monday the listing agreement was signed. Tuesday the photographer came over to take pictures for the MSL listing. On Wednesday there were two showings. On Thursday they were under contract. Wow! Whirlwind market!

Over the weekend we had the blessing and “curse” (LOL!) of accomplishing the task of going through items and packing up a household of 57 years of memories. I’m so thankful that we were able to ask mom and dad questions and get them to help make some decisions about items in which we were clueless.

Needless to say, we didn’t finish the process. We did however reminiscence, laugh at some pictures, talk about some of our favorite memories from our childhood, and simply enjoy the day with family. It was a precious, tiring, and emotionally draining day.

On the way home, some of the grieving processes smacked me in the head and I got upset and angry. Why is this happening now? What do our future days look like? How are mom and dad adjusting? These are all questions that have infiltrated my brain. How do we handle all of the parental responsibilities alongside our other responsibilities? Many of you have found yourself a part of that phenomenon called the “sandwich” generation. We are taking care of our kids at home or assisting our young adult children and we are caring for our parents at the same time. Many responsibilities; not much rest and relaxing.

When I start stressing out–I have to force myself to take a breather. I even have to remind myself–“Go to the Word! Go to the Word! ” Honestly, I’d rather just sit and have a little “I’m emotionally and physically exhausted and I need rest” Party! But somehow the needs do not go away! When I go to the Word, I find sweet words that remind me of His truths. Look at these eight verses:

“Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!” 1Chronicles 16:11

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.” Psalm 73:23

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6-7

“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.” Psalm 57:1

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.”Psalm 63:3

Go to the Word . . . the words up above give me hope because I can focus on the abilities of God and not my weaknesses. Because yall—there are times I am oh so very weak and tired and self-absorbed.

But the Word reminds me that God will strengthen me, that I can shelter under His wings till the storms pass by, and that His peace is available always!

I literally just took a moment to pause and think about the beauty of those words. Maybe you should be still for a moment and do some reflecting. Let the stress of the moment flee from your soul, your mind, and your body. Then replace it with His beautiful reminders and truth.

Every day we have to make choices. Sometimes we need to let some responsibilities sit still and Go to the Word!